Healing After A Betrayal? Here's How To Start

You thought everything was going perfectly, but then out of nowhere, everything came crashing down. You're having a hard time believing this could be your reality.

Are you dreaming? It feels more like a nightmare. 

The person you loved. The person you thought you knew, valued, and trusted. That one person that you never thought would hurt you did exactly that.

Now, you're left feeling violated, heartbroken, and betrayed. Your trust was destroyed in a blink of an eye, and you're not sure if you can or should go back.

Although it may not feel like it right now, healing is possible. Here's how to start healing after a betrayal.

Don't Try to Bury It

The longer you go on pushing those negative thoughts and feelings deep down inside of yourself, the longer it will take you to move on and forward in your life again. You may not want to remember what happened, to think about it, or to deal with all of those emotions, but the sooner you're able to actually acknowledge how you feel and accept it, the sooner you'll be able to move forward again.

Practice Self-Care

There's no better time than the present to practice a little self-care. Taking care of yourself and your own health can help you deal with those negative thoughts and feelings. Make sure you're taking care of yourself and your wants and needs. Make sure you're fueling your body with healthy and well-balanced meals. Aim to get at least eight hours of sleep each night. Go for a walk outside. Listen to music. Sign up for a class you've been wanting to try. It's time to build on the relationship you have with yourself.

man sitting alone looking out at water

Be Patient

Healing after experiencing something traumatic like a betrayal won't happen overnight. Healing will take a lot of patience and time. And that means being patient with yourself. You may be experiencing a lot of different emotions. Allow yourself to feel and experience all your thoughts and emotions. Healing will take time but it will begin to get easier and better every single day if you allow yourself.

Don't Play the Blame Game

You may be wondering if it's your fault or if there's anything you could've done differently. No matter what exactly happened, when you feel betrayed by someone, it's absolutely not your fault. Don't play the blame game. This can only lead you to feel worse about yourself in the long run.

Ask for Personal Space

Don't make your healing process harder by forcing yourself to be around the person who hurt and betrayed you. It's okay and perfectly acceptable for you to ask for personal space to allow yourself the time, focus, and clarity to figure out an action plan and the next steps for yourself. Asking for personal space doesn't have to mean just distancing yourself from the person that betrayed you either. This could include unfollowing them on social media, blocking their phone number, and asking your friends and family not to give you any updates on them.

Talk to Someone

Lean on your loved ones for support during this time. If you want advice, ask for it. If you just want a shoulder to cry on, they'll be there for you. Maybe you're just looking for a distraction and want to have a movie night or get together with friends. If you don't feel comfortable discussing the betrayal with your friends or family, that's okay too. You still don't have to go through this alone. Working with a therapist can be a great way to help you work through those negative thoughts and emotions. Plus, they'll be able to help you come up with an action plan moving forward.

Reach out to us today to set up a consultation for trauma therapy.


Sea Glass Counseling and Consultation is an EMDR therapy practice in Dublin, Ohio. Our compassionate, skilled therapists use evidence-based techniques grounded in the neurobiology of stress, trauma, and relationships to make sure your treatment is personalized and effective. Sea Glass therapists provide telehealth counseling in Ohio for individuals and couples. We’re best known for providing Intensive EMDR therapy, anxiety treatment, and sex therapy for Christians. Interested in working together? Contact us today to get started with a Certified EMDR therapist in Ohio.